Ella's eye patch

Today I have really struggled with people's reactions to Ella wearing her eye patch. Somedays this doesn't bother me at all, and I can take it all in stride and go on with my day. Other days, like today, I seem to have the thinnest skin ever, and I can't get past it! I understand people's curiousity and even people being a little surprised or shocked to see a little baby with a patch covering an eye. I try to imagine how I would've reacted if I were on the other side of this, and it's hard for me to know what I would've done. But, I hope I wouldn't constantly stare at her as I walk through a store or point at her or continue to "ooh and awe" at her as I walked by. I also know that most people mean well when doing this, and they aren't trying to be rude. Here's an example of what people say--Today we were shopping at the mall, and as we were leaving a husband and wife were walking in the other direction. The husband jokingly said "Oh look, that baby has a black eye!" I put on a smile to acknowledge that he was talking to me, and went on. Then he asked me to turn around so his wife could see Ella with her "black eye". So, I did because I wasn't sure of what else to do. I wanted to smart off to him for asking us to do that, but I knew that wouldn't solve anything. I was floored that he actually asked me to turn Ella around to show his wife like Ella was something to be put on display! I really start to get mad when I start thinking about how this will affect Ella when she is old enough to notice the people staring and pointing. Right now she is too small to know. And, I know that I will have to be able to explain to her why they are doing that, and I won't be able to show her that it makes me mad because I don't want her to learn that from me. So lets just say I have a long way to go to get there!!.

This gets me thinking about how I would like people to react or not react to us when Ella is wearing her patch. And, truthfully, I don't know. I think that for strangers walking by that a simple smile and look to show they have noticed would be fine. It gets tricky when you have to talk to someone like when you are at the bank or are checking out somewhere. I can tell they have noticed, and sometimes they don't know what to say. I just go along with what I'm doing and leave it to them to bring it up if they want. And, it gets even more tricky when we run into someone we know that doesn't about Ella's eye because it seems they don't know what to say or how to ask about it. And, I don't want to bring it up because I don't want to look like I want attention because of it. It's like there is an elephant in the room that no one is talking about. I would like for them to ask me about it, but I know it's awkward for them.

So, I've decided that maybe I could help alleviate some of this awkwardness by posting a picture of Ella wearing her patch for family and friends to see so if we run into them some of the shock won't be there. I also am going to give a short explanation of Ella's eye condition--Ella's right eye didn't develop all the way so she was born with a small eye, a cataract, and another condition called PHPV. She had to have 2 surgeries to remove the cataract and the membrane (the PHPV part) in the middle of her eye. The doctors weren't sure and still aren't sure how much vision she will have in that eye. Ella wears a contact in the eye so it can focus. We patch her left eye to force her brain to use the right eye in order to obtain as much vision as possible which will help keep her from getting a lazy eye. The doctors said this was one of the most severe/difficult cases they have seen so the fact that Ella does focus and is able to see some things is a blessing for her. We won't know exactly how much she will be able to see for a couple years...until she is able to talk and tell us what she sees. But, we know she can see with her eye because she reaches for toys and food and will crawl to a toy while wearing the patch.

I can feel a load lifted from my shoulders just from typing this. It's really amazing just how talking (or typing) about something that bothers you can help make it better. I hope I don't scare someone away from asking us about Ella's eye because I really don't mind talking about it. I know most people are genuinely sincere and concerned when they see or talk to us. And, I am so thankful for all the support we have had.

Oh, and Amy Barrett, I'm not talking about you or your girls today!! I'm glad Eva Grace asked about Ella's patch. Kids notice it pretty quickly and are very honest and sweet when asking what happened to Ella, just like Eva Grace!